For how long can you live in disguise?
For how long can oil and
water stay mixed
together?
- Chapter eight, Karukku
I decided
to buy the book after I first read an excerpt of a couple of chapters and got
hooked, wanting to read more. The autobiographical account in first person was
so enticing that I felt compelled to read the whole account. I finished it in a
single sitting. It didn’t even occur to me to put it down and take a break. One
knows a different book right away, and this book is as bold as they come.
This
is not a paperback, it is an experience. It holds your attention from the first
line and keeps you hooked till the last page. There are multiple aspects that
are enchanting, disturbing, but most of all, enlightening throughout the book.
Also, this is not a mere autobiography of Bama, the author, but a complete
account of the lifestyle of her whole oppressed community.
If I
must sum up the essence of the book in one word, it would be: Resilience.
Narrative
and Language
Bama’s
style of narration is simple, lucid and straightforward. The sentences are short
and to the point. The credit to this may also be given to the translator,
Lakshmi Holmstrom, who has ensured that the subtle nuances of the Tamil language
are not lost in translation.
Our village is very beautiful.Even though you don't see much by way of progress...I love this place for its beauty.(1)
The mountain range right around the village. They are lovely to look at.(1)
What
makes the read interesting are the numerous Tamil words that are left as they
are, without attempting to find English equivalents to them. Although they may
seem like breaks to the comprehension, the glossary does help to decipher them
if required.
There
are however quite a few words that are not found in the glossary, but that
doesn’t take away the comprehension of the lines.
Structure
Since
my book is the second edition, it begins with a prologue of sorts “Ten Years
later’ wherein the author tells us that she wrote the book in 1992, which was
translated by Lakshmi Holmstrom in the year 2000. She recounts how the
publishing by Macmillan came about and ends the account in the year 2011.
This is followed by a translator’s note and then the Introduction. Thereby, by the time we
get to chapter one, we already know what the book is going to be all about.
However, there is still room for ample surprises that unravel layer after layer
with each turn of the page.
The structure
seems like any other autobiography, until we start reading the second chapter
and move on to the third. We realize that the author seems to be repeating
herself, going back to the same portions again and again. After a while one
gets used to this and is not surprised when she goes back to the same part of her
life all over again.
However,
one aspect must be mentioned here. Every repetition has a fresh perspective to
it. Each time, she adds on something else, along with what is already
mentioned. Ironically, the repeats are as refreshing as new information. It's as
if she is iterating the same thing again, but with a little more proof to the
earlier argument.
I feel that the book is comparable to a flower, perhaps a lotus would be an apt simile to describe it. A lotus blooms in the muddy water, which may be construed as
the Cheri street, with many petals in
it. It's as if we know what flower it is, except that it seems to be peeled petal
after petal to reveal the layers inside. And each petal shows us a different shade
of the same colour of the flower, with every skillful unraveling by the author.
One
might think the author is mulling over the decisions she took in her life and
keeps convincing her mind that she did the right thing at that point of time.
Key
decisions like defying her parents, friends and all well-wishers to join a
convent as a nun was a huge step. She tries to give us new perspectives each
new time, to iterate why she took the decision.
So
also, the reasons for leaving the convent are revealed to us more and more, as we move along the chapters.
This
is like a mystery novel unveiling the suspense right at the beginning and going
on to open new facets with every page, to keep proving why the culprit (the
convent, in this case) or the perpetrators (the convent authorities) were at
fault in shaping her decisions. This makes for a thrilling read, ironically even when there is little doubt, about the outcome of her actions.
However
the last chapter is tinged with suspense because her escape from the convent is
nail-biting.
We
are struck by the sheer boldness of her revelations. We know right away that
she is revealing things that few would dare to. After all, to take on & expose an
institution as powerful as the church, being a Dalit at that, is no mean task.
Descriptions
The imagery of nature, especially in Chapter one is a sheer pleasure to read. The
descriptions of natural beauty, the rural lifestyle, and the enchantment of the lush
surroundings, especially the greenery and water, transport readers to a different world.
The
noticeable aspect here is the complete lack of flowery eloquence or long drawn embellishments
in the language. There are no big words, ornamental phrases or difficult idioms
in the book. Easy to comprehend and read, the book sticks to events and accounts
of her life and that of her community, in a matter-of-fact manner.
The
irony is palpable. The author shows us the side of poverty that makes villagers
find innovative means of feeding themselves. While this is supposed to make
readers feel sad about the hardships, and perhaps feel sorry for them, it
actually has the opposite effect. City dwellers who are accustomed to concrete
jungles may actually feel wistful and rather envious of the joys of rural life.
The sheer enjoyment of the children playing in the water, the little joys of
villagers catching and frying fish by the lakeside romanticizes poverty like no
other.
At
the same time, one cannot neglect the actual message of the hardships of Dalits
to even find a single meal for themselves and their families.
Some
parts of the book are hilarious as well, especially the nicknames given by the people to some characters of their village. The antics of some of them to earn those nicknames put a smile on our faces.
Chapter
two onwards becomes more specifically disturbing with accounts of oppression of
Dalits and how the issue of caste never goes away, no matter where they go, how
intelligent they are, or how hard they work to prove themselves. The accounts of
how even the small children are forced to labour all day to keep themselves fed
is heartbreaking. Also, the instances where the Dalits were automatically
blamed for everything that other castes did, highlights of selective injustice.
You
are from the Cheri. You might have done it. You must have done it. (19)
Perhaps
the biggest takeaway here is not about the highly hypocritical nuns abusing their power for gain. Its about how one can be hopeful about doing
something one dreams of doing, only to have the society at large and certain
communities/people in particular who never let that happen. Like I mentioned
before, it is also about resilience of a vulnerable woman.
The
book is powerful because so many factors of Bama’s shock echoes on the readers
mind. The Christian nuns who claim love for humanity insulting lower castes,
pampering the wealthy and even resorting to physical violence such as caning,
pinching, knocking, etc. are an eye-opener to the larger public that only gets
to see the humane side of them.
In
certain orders they would not accept Harijan women...I was thunderstruck.
My
community were looking after all the jobs like sweeping the premises, swabbing
and washing the classrooms and cleaning the lavatories. And in the convent they
spoke very insultingly of lower caste people.(25) – Chapter Two.
Chapter
three shows us how strong the women folk are, compared to men. Bama’s instances
can make any feminist hold her head high in pride.
And
so the women managed on their own even without the men’s earnings.(38)
The
stories where the women hid their menfolk from police brutality are innovative
in their genius. Also, the bonding and unity of womenfolk during times of
crisis is captures with heart-wrenching finesse.
…the
women set out with the dead body and buried him themselves, in the cemetery.
Woven
into this is the brutality of the police that sides with the community that is
rich enough to grease their palms.
It
seems the Chaaliyar folk invited …the “Reserve police” all the way from Sivakasi,
butchered a sheep for them and arranged a feast….here we are struggling for
watery gruel. How will the police or the government be on our side? (36)
The
author’s lament about the lack of unity among the lower castes is a showcase
of human nature.
Chapter
four exposes the hardships of physical labour in two realms: Agriculture and Construction.
It
is only when they fall asleep at night that their arms and legs are still.(55)
Her accounts of collecting firewood in the
mountain forests as a child, shelling groundnuts for peanuts as remuneration, stc. exposes the rampant exploitation of Dalits by the society at large and the
Naickar community and traders in particular.
But
it was only by toiling like this without taking any account of their bodies as
flesh and blood, that people of our community could even survive.(52)
More
interesting is the misappropriation of payment given to women labourers despite
doing the same amount of work as men. This rings true even in the corporates of
today’s scenario across the world.
The
third point is the exposure of exploitative, illegal child labour at the match
factories.
Chapter
five is different , in a refreshing way. For here, we see the fun-loving side
of the community that finds innovative and stellar ways of making the most of
what they have and still find joy of of their games.
However
the ironies of a society flawed at its very core, both at the familial as well
as societal level, are exposed in saddening ways. The games children played.
..we
played at being Naicker. The rest of us would call them Ayya Ayya…work in the
fields all day, collect our wages and go home.
Sometimes
we played at being nuns and priests who came and gave us blows.(57)
Then
we played at being married and…the husband coming home drunk and hitting the
wife, the police arriving and beating him up.
To have impressionable minds think that men and women of the religious order beating up kids, or a husband beating his
wife as part of normal routine life and marriage respectively, shows the level
of degradation, as a whole.
She
also gives us accounts of how talented some people of the community were, that
harps on the underlying message that most of it goes unnoticed by society.
Also,
the bribery of the forest official to kiil deer is punctuated more with the
bribery at church in the name of offerings to Mother Superior and Church elders
Bama minces no words while repeating the reported speech of her acquaintances, as
well as church personnel.
Everyone
came away complaining about his (Priest’s) miserliness.
And
the Mother Superior had said: “Have you given me money to buy the holy
pictures?”
The last part of the chapter makes us realize
how far we have come in the digital age, when we read about the people of the
village waiting all day, and evening for
a film that was never shown until midnight.
Chapter
Six accounts of the convent hostel life, which is two-fold, showing us the
abundance that comes with a price to Dalits.
I
was uncomfortable to stay there although they fed us well.(73)
Bama
stresses on the perks of education, even as she iterates the challenges of the
community which is reluctant to allow the girls to study beyond a certain
measure for want of finding a husband.
The
disparity of wealth between the other children and Bama is palpable in many
instances, but what stands out is her escapade into the bathroom to avoid the
college day, for want of a silk saree.
Also
the chapter exposes the luxuries of the church that is supposed to have taken a
vow of poverty.
‘That
is just a sham. The convent does not know the meaning of poverty.’(77)
‘It
seems that our society is divided into those who toil and those who sit down to
eat.’(79)
The
rampant caste system that penetrates even the deepest religious orders of the
church are exposed without any holds barred.
‘It
is only the upper caste Christian who enjoy the benefits and comforts of the
church’
Chapter
seven is an exposure of the futility and farce of regulatory religious
pursuits. The innocence of children who believe anything that is told to them
is sadly hilarious. One aches for the child who preserved teeth and bones of an
unearthed skeleton only to be stripped of its supposed importance much later.
The
legend of the Chinnamalai mountain is engrossing in its simple narration.
Bama’s account of Chinnamalai festival, the slaughters, the feast are presented
to us in astute clarity of visual and auditory imagery.
Again
the oxymoronic hilarity of catechism classes or nodding off at the obligatory
Easter service makes us aware of the futility of violently forcing religious
rules on little children.
Sometimes
the sisters themselves would nod off. But could we go and hit them? Or pinch
them?(99)
The
author utters truth in a matter of fact manner that leaves no room for argument,
irrespective of which religion readers belong to.
What
passes for devotion nowadays is merely a matter of doing things out of a sense
of duty. (101)
Chapter
eight is a reiteration of the politics and hypocrisy, (also the jealousies,
competition, arrogance) rampant at the convent, where the inmates take their
three vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, but rampantly flout the first
vow.
In
truth the vows become a means of control and enslavement.(113)
Her
account of luxuries at the convent, are a sharp contrast to the descriptions of
the background she comes from. And this makes her exit from the luxury even
more noteworthy.
Chapter
nine is a relatively small but crucial one. It shows us the amount of damage
society is capable of doing to an individual.
Her
transformation from a brave forthright person to a meek fearful woman is
profound, despite the perk of escaping what she aptly calls a ‘counterfeit
existence’
I
feel afraid of everyone and everything.(120)
Added
to this is her vulnerability as a lone woman in a ruthlessly opportunistic man’s
world. It is also a further expose of societal realities, that hold good till
date.
The
book has a lengthy postscript, which ties up the loose ends, while adding on
some more incidents to showcase of the politics of wealth and power at the
convent. There are some nail-biting moments where the reader may feel fearful
about the her escape from the convent right up to the last minute of her
reaching safe ground.
‘By
then, my mind was completely empty.’(136)
This
is an autobiography that may progressively drain readers and leave them feeling empty too.
Conclusion
Overall,
Bama has penned a book that is timeless in its ruthless revelations. Most of what
she reveals is true, till date. While we would like to think that there has been
abundant progress, there are many realities that we are aware of, even today.
For
as Bama says:
‘It
is possible to live in elitist style with money , education, authority and
power and to claim that one is serving the poor.’(121)
Aren’t
we privy to some of our elite politicians proving this time and again to us,
till date?
Did
you find my review of the book useful? Do let me know in the comments section.
Happy
reading, stay safe, readers.
***
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